I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
