hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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