I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
