My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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