my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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