I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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