Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
