But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
