Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
