Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
