His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize