This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
