You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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