Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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