But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
