I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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