Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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