If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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