We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
