Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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