So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
two words: eviction party
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
