btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
