I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize