So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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