Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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