it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
