using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize