Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
