I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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