I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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