Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
