your thong is hanging out like whoa
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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