come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
