I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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