i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
