I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
pray to the hookup gods
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
