its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
