we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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