some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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