If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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