CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
