Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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