No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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