If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
