I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
