your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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