Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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