it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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