I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
