Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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