i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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