But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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