just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
