Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
