The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
