Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
