I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
