got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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