Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
