Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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