Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize