AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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